Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
