no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
