Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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