I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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