people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
