Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
