i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
