I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
