i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
