is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
