Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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