she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
