Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
