I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
