how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
