Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
