Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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