doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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