I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
