i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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