I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
