I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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