ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We left an ass print on the piano.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
