I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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