it was like eating out sand paper
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Boobs speak an international language.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
