people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
