i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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