I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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