none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
