Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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