I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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