Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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