Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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