oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
