On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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