He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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