apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
