so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
try to milk me bitch
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