We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
