he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
