I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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