she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
