I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
