He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
