Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
