would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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