i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this just has baby written all over it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Randomize
