I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
