we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
