Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
