My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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