yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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