my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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