Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
