Already got asked if we're dating
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
